Becoming a Stronger You

Jermaine Reed, MFA is an adjunct college professor and writer from Chicago, who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here. Follow J Reed on Twitter @jreed913 . Check out The Reeders Block Podcast and subscribe there to hear more.

You may feel that things never go according to plan. You feel for every step forward, there are two steps back. Though you may feel this way, it is not true. If you focus hard enough, anything you want, you will have. The key to success is accepting bad things in your life as your own issue to deal with.

For instance, a family member of mine struggled with personal issues much of her life, having lost three newborn children. During these struggles in her life unknown to me, I was facing my own issues: finding a steady job, getting my master’s degree, family issues and so forth. I could have given up; most people would have.

Instead, I confronted the issues and overcame them. I did this by accepting them as my own problems to solve and sacrificing my time. The family member I mentioned drew inspiration from witnessing me overcome my trials and tribulations. You never know who’s watching you. You must deal with your own problems without blaming others because doing so will help you and those close to you.

What can you do better to fix your own situation?

Furthermore, you must be honest with yourself. Are you really trying as hard as you can? Is there no way you can make it to work on time to look more like a dedicated employee? What can you do better to fix your own situation? Are you blaming others or actively working to fix the issue?

To continue, how strong you are is not determined by your failures; how strong you are is determined by your ability to bounce back. “A bus ran over my bike. Now, I can’t ride my bike to class” or “a car side-swiped me, and now I don’t have a car to do Uber.”

In both of the above scenarios, you may not be at fault. Does this mean you should not try and find another way to school or another way to do Uber? How you react to a problem can be more important than the problem itself. A crushed car isn’t nearly as bad as being evicted for not paying your rent. Your landlord won’t care about your Uber car being totaled. She’ll just want her cash. And your professor won’t care about your broken bike. That exam is still due.

If you’ve failed previously, write out what you could have done better.

So, to be more successful, write out your goals. Set deadlines. Have your Google or Alexa assistants remind you of your goals. If you’ve failed previously, write out what you could have done better. Then, do it. And make sure you do it to make yourself happier or to better your own situation, whether it’s getting a new career, earning a degree or connecting with a new social network.

The above acknowledged, what you wish to accomplish, you must do it for yourself. It is great to have a motivating person or factor, but if you’re not pursuing a degree or career or goal for your own benefit, accomplishing it will be a little more difficult. The motivation won’t be there or as intense. You have to want to satisfy yourself and impress yourself. Do not do things simply to make someone else perceive you differently.

You got this.

In the end, your will and strength will determine your future. There are sayers, and there are doers. Sayers make promises. Doers take action. Find motivation within yourself. No one can do for you what you can. Do not blame your problems on others. They are yours to accept and figure out. You’re strong enough. You got this.

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