How to Replenish Your Well of Peace

Replenishing Your Inner Well of Peace

All too often, we see single people post on social about how they want somebody to “bring” them peace. When you say you want somebody to bring you peace, you’re also saying you don’t have peace of your own. Imagine somebody renting you a house and when you show up, they say, “Build it.” The amount of time, skill and dedication required to build a house is beyond your skillset. Well, so is bringing peace to somebody. Your peace is produced by your interpretation of your lifestyle and collected experiences not by an individual person. You have to find — or, in some cases, replenish — your well of peace.

Drinking from Your Own Well of Peace

You might be wondering if you have a well of peace and what to do if you don’t. Every day, an overdue bill reminds you its due, the car needs gas and your friend is asking for way too much. These outside stresses produce a negative strain on you and your mental state. One way to cope with negative stresses is to avoid them altogether. But you can only duck your mother’s call so long. Finding your well of peace means managing your stress, and this can be done in various ways.

Your friend needs to borrow money every few weeks, and they’re slow to pay it back. You don’t say no when they stick their hand out because you wouldn’t be able to look yourself in the mirror. And you avoid any conversation about it because you’re no fan of raised voices. However, if this person is your true friend, you should sit them down and talk to them. Express to them how you’re feeling and the financial impact they’re having on you. In any situation, when you’re honest with a true friend, they make corrections. The fake ones will argue. Let them go if you must.

Also, feel less guilty about your guilty pleasure and enjoy. You probably like a greasy steak and crispy fries more than you should. Or maybe your girlfriend tells you to chill on the gameplay. After watching every episode of the latest season of your favorite show, you feel… calm and relaxed. Or you feel happy and inspired. As long as it doesn’t lead to you in a hospital room, eat your steak. You’ve grinned through meetings, listened to your auntie rant or completed that long overdue work thing. Reward yourself where there would be no reward otherwise.

How to Refill Your Well of Peace

To refill you well of peace, remember what makes you happy, and to do that, sometimes, you gotta remember who you are. As we struggle through the daily battles of this war called life, we gain armor. It protects us from our enemies and many times ourselves. As this armor thickens, more and more of us is layered away from the world. We crawl into our shells, feel less and become an over-guarded silhouette of who we once were. Take a trip down memory lane to recall those times that warmed you from the inside out.

You have memories you’ll never be able to relive with the same people again, but you can always relive the activity. That mixer churning your dough jogs up memories of your standing on a chair beside your grandmother as she made cookies in the kitchen. You smile. The aroma of the rising cookies engulfs you. This moment, this activity, has brought you a mix of emotions overflowing with happiness and peace that reminds you who you are. Memories can still produce good moments.

Take a day from work. No emails, phone calls or other work-related stuff. Don’t worry about what you’ll do. Whether you choose to kick up your feet for a day or shop in a store, make this time about you. If you have to take an unpaid day, do it. Move some bills around. Dip into your savings. Whatever you do, make time for you. At some points in life, you need more than a two-day weekend that’s really not two full days.

Go see your parents or somebody you haven’t in a while. The most therapeutic conversations can be between you and a friend or family member you haven’t seen since forever. You all probably don’t talk as much or communicate as much as you used to on Facebook, but you are still friends or family. Having a coffee with them might remind you, you’re not insane. It’s not just you ducking a crazy ex or late on your car note. Plus, you get to reestablish a relationship that can help alleviate your stress.

Therapy should always be an option. You squirm at the thought of telling your dad about your friend and your husband. Or you know your friend can’t keep a secret, but you have something that’ll explode within you if you don’t get it out. Talk to a therapist. If you can’t fit it into your budget now, research organizations that offer free group or one-on-one therapy. BetterHelp.com is an organization offering affordable online therapy. I’m not being paid to plug them. When researching mental health organizations, BetterHelp.com came up with good reviews. Additionally, talking to someone is nothing to hide your face about. It actually can help you unload the weight of whatever’s making you feel as if you’re sinking. Do some research about the help you need and act on it.

The Takeaway

Nobody can bring you peace, but they can disturb it. Have serious conversations with those who are disturbing your peace. Real friends or family will understand. Draw from your inner peace. Fly a kite or watch four hours of a cancelled tv show. Whatever you do, find your peace and live it in. Always keep in mind your peace is yours to establish and protect. Though your well of peace may feel drained, you can always refill it by focusing on you.

This article was written by Jermaine Reed, MFA, the Editor-in-Chief of The Reeders Block, who also works an Adjunct College Professor and director. Join the email list to get notifications on new articles and books. This article is 100% human-written. And remember, if you see an error, that’s what makes us human. Subscribe and share.