Don’t Be Afraid to Reinvent Yourself to Find Yourself

Kristi Noem, US Secretary of Homeland Security, has become a firebrand who makes people look or look away. No longer a poorly-known Republican governor, Noem has embraced her more outspoken side. She’s let down her hair figuratively and literally. Although she can be a thorn in the toe to some, for many, she is inspiration. Her politics aside, Noem’s a perfect (well, technically an imperfect) example of leveraging the tool of self-reinvention (she claims to have brutally killed one of her dogs as well, and this dings perfection). Sometimes, it’s necessary to leverage self-reinvention to become who you truly are. Here’s why you shouldn’t fear reinventing yourself and how to do it.

Who are You, Really?

You wear a suit or dress whenever you go to work. At church, you wear your most formal, least-revealing top. You smile and nod to mutual “friends” you really don’t like. And you’re polite, always sure to say, “Please” or “Thank you.” You wear a different mask for every occasion, but who are you really? When the pretenses are dropped, what makes you tick? In reinventing yourself, you might ask these questions and realize you’re not reinventing yourself. You’re becoming your true self.

Similarly, you drink tea only at social gatherings, and you actually have no interest in sports. You’ve tolerated these activities to fit in with others. This might be fine to an extent, but what about what interests you? What about the “bad” words or “offensive” jokes you like to say or hear? Laughter brightens the soul, but yours is suppressed because you have buried it for others.

… how you dress, the way you wear your hair and the language you use are all a part of your identity.

For many reasons, some people find offensive jokes or unfiltered language distasteful, and they have a right to feel that way. That doesn’t mean you have to give up what you like. You can respect others while still enjoying what makes you laugh or smile.

Moreover, how you dress, the way you wear your hair and the language you use are all a part of your identity. You might be able to mute offensive language in the workplace, but how long can you pretend your boss isn’t overstepping boundaries? Will you pretend your boundaries aren’t being crossed for years? Or will you address it? The old you would avoid that. The new you is different. The new you is more confident.

Nonetheless, with changing how you dress or how you communicate, reinventing yourself requires finding your crowd.

Finding Your Crowd

Not everyone will understand when you choose not to have a drink. A few might say that you’re no longer fun. They might accuse you of changing. You have, and that’s the point. If your old crowd can’t accept the new you, replace them with people who do.

If you have a gambling problem, you don’t make a hotel room in a casino your home. It’s the same way when breaking bad habits or developing new ones. The friend who doesn’t want to exercise when you’re on a journey is still your friend. The friend who’s telling you to give it up needs to be replaced. When none of your friends share your important interest, take a chance with situational friends.

… coworkers can be great situational friends.

There are people in need of a gym partner. Others want a book club to discuss the crazy guy in that wild story. Some just want a friend for a night. When done correctly, coworkers can be great situational friends. Some do share your love of art or plays. These are sometimes the best friendships because you all are battle hardened, experiencing the same workplace confusion. Build around these relationships, and know when it’s time to reinvent yourself.

When to Reinvent Yourself

There is no perfect time to reinvent yourself, and you can start at any moment. A majority of people find it most helpful when they are facing a difficult time or trying to make greater moves. If your progress feels stagnant, reinvent yourself.

That noted, you know who you are, but are you demonstrating who you are? Are you sending the right message? Do you look the part? Think about the salesman who successfully sells a greeting card to a man in love. The salesman connected the card to happiness, warmth and appreciation. He sold an idea not a card. The salesman who didn’t make the sell tried to sell a card, no more than a piece of paper, to the intended buyer. So, when you present yourself, what are you presenting? What narrative are you telling?

Reinventing yourself… should additionally include updating your résumé…

A confident person exudes a can-do attitude, comes off as knowledgeable and gains the faith of others. This confidence has been used by many frauds to make millions. Sam Bankman-Fried played video games, as he simultaneously met with investors. His company turned out to be worth nothing, but the media made him come off like a genius because he wanted them to, and millionaires fell for it. You have the advantage because you’re who you say you are. Now, you just have to say it in a more decisive, confident manner. You must believe it too.

Reinventing yourself might mean changing your diet, your habits, style of dress or language. It should additionally include updating your résumé and cover letter, especially if you have been applying but have gotten no or few interview requests.

While reinventing yourself and employment documents , you have a good chance of seeing some errors you missed.

The reason is because, your résumé needs to advertise what the employer is looking for. It needs to highlight your skills, qualifications and experience related to the job. This means rewriting your résumé to include that information. Don’t shy away from copying and pasting a little information from the job description to your résumé and cover letter, since doing so will make the algorithm more likely to select your application for further review. Don’t copy and paste too much, and reword the information.

To continue, there could be errors on your résumé or cover letter you’ve overlooked. While reinventing yourself and employment documents , you have a good chance of seeing some errors you missed. Review your documents, and run them through an AI program to be proofread. Review them yourself afterwards. Continue your self-reinvention journey

The Takeaway

Sometimes, you have to reinvent yourself to find yourself. After years of buttoning up for work or pleasing others, you need the freedom to be yourself. You want to wear your low-cut shirts or gym shoes whenever you want. You have a right to that.

As you change your habits, occasionally you have to change your associates. Mingle with people who share your interests. Make situational friends you can do specific activities with. You’ll feel better around these people doing what you enjoy. Reinvent yourself to become a brighter, more fierce version of you. The world is yours.

This article was written by Jermaine Reed, MFA, the Editor-in-Chief of The Reeders Block. Join the email list to get notifications on new blog posts and books. This article is 100% human-written. And remember, if you see an error, that’s what makes us human.