February 15th is the Real Valentine’s Day: Prove Me Wrong

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If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you likely realize February 15th is the real Valentine’s Day. It’s when most people spend time with the person they truly love. Because of the politics attached to Valentine’s Day, they spend February 14th with the person they have to, not the person they want to. So, why is this the case, and why is February 15th the real Valentine’s Day?

Love Beyond Performance

For about a month or twelve, some people in relationships have heard their partners say, “That comedy show is going to be good.” Or “Dinner after opening gifts would be nice.” Sweating, they spent day and night trying to find the best seats and the highest rated restaurants. By the time February 14th came, they were ready to get it over with, especially after listening to their partner say they could’ve put in more effort. February 14th was a trial by fire, not a day of expressing love. The cracks in the glossy finish of the 14th cause the raw, emotional necessity for the 15th.

On February 15th, many people in relationships rushed out of their homes to sketchy motels, rat-infested apartments or unfurnished basements. They probably stopped at a gas station and got chips, pop and condoms. Then, they climbed onto the mattress on the floor and watched Friday, as they cradled the person they weren’t in a relationship with. This is their refuge. Yet it couldn’t exist without the 14th.

February 14th is the Litmus Test for relationships and exposes every flaw by design. The exasperated lover has a reawakening every Valentine’s Day with a strengthening conclusion. They can’t keep doing this. But then they get that text that reminds them there is someone to go to.

When that person decompresses with the one that makes their heart skip a beat, they heal. They gain some of their resilience back. Before the 15th, they were ready for a full-blown breakup. After meeting with their secret lover, they have the resilience to stand their “real” partner a little longer. It is a self-sustaining cycle where the emotional load balancing is the therapy that keeps the relationship together.

The Takeaway

Between diamonds and $100 seafood platters, Valentine’s Day lost its way. Corporations have turned it into a day of one-sided materialistic exchange drained of all affection. One person in a relationship uses it to pressure their way into gestures that mean little. The other tries to keep up and fails. They’d give up if February 15th didn’t exist. But it does, and by default, it has become the day that February 14th fails to be on every emotional level. The 14th is for those who know the value of a Tiffany ring. The 15th is for lovers who know the value of a human heart.

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