Delivering Hard Truths to Hypocritical Gossipers

Screenshot of the cover of Gaslighting by Dana Jackson and Ross Covert.

The Bible says, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” In other words, worry about yourself before you do others. Sometimes, you meet a person who has all the judgment but all the hypocritical behaviors. But they’ve lived in an echo chamber so long, they are unaware of their own flaws. When a person judges but has many flaws, it’s your responsibility to call them out.

Breaking the Echo Chamber of Reverse Psychology

Some people need to hear hard truths. Too many have no self-awareness or empathy which makes them great at shifting blame. They consistently rely on reverse psychology to convince others they are the problem when they aren’t.

As an example, a so-called friend has probably talked behind your back about something you did. You’re not proud of what you did, but it happened. Not only did it happen, but your gossiping friend has done the same or worse. When word got back to you that they spilled your secret, your blood boiled.

OTHER NEWS: Click here to learn how to overcome anything. LET NOTHING HOLD YOU BACK.

So, you talked to them about it. Their response was, “You’re overreacting.” They didn’t apologize or hear you out. They flipped it, downplayed it and blamed you.

Yet somehow, you two got past it, but they constantly judge you and gossip. For those reasons, it’s your responsibility to call them out and not let it slide. They need a reality check. When you address the issue directly, you can stop it right away. This is how you should approach it:

1. Clearly state how their gossip is hypocritical, as you remind them of who they are.
2. Concisely state the resolution you want.
3. Listen to the other person, while evaluating their response.
4. If they are genuinely apologetic, work with them to prevent the issue in the future. If they are not, cut them off. Don’t debate.

Considering that, you can call, text or meet with the person to discuss the problem. Either method works, but a meetup or a phone call works better. These methods give you the opportunity to gauge the person’s tone in realtime. This is vital in determining how seriously the person takes what you are telling them.

The Takeaway

Although there are gossipers who live their lives in echo chambers, you don’t have to live in there with them. When a gossiper judges you, remind them of who they are. If they gaslight you, cut them off. You don’t need the drama.

This article was written by Jermaine Reed, MFA, the Editor-in-Chief of The Reeders Block. Join the email list to get notifications on new blog posts and books. This article is 100% human-written. And remember, if you see an error, that’s what makes us human.