If You Have a Certain Calling

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If you’re like me, when you need to get something done, you do it. Every so often, I drop everything and start writing a book. Sometimes, the idea is so poignant, I can’t get comfortable until every word is poured on the page. During these moments, the urge to express whatever the idea compels me, but then people.

There are always people, and they need attention. This is the balancing act between achieving your creative goals and maintaining healthy personal relationships.

But Can It Wait?

You’d give your friend a five-minute ride to the gas station. You’re less willing to be on-call for driver duty, especially if you’re in the process of creating. In the past, you put others before yourself. Now, you have to prioritize. The main question to ask when being requested to do something is, can it wait?

Having a drink Saturday is fun, but you have a product to design or some taxes to do. If you don’t go out on Saturday night, can you go out next Saturday? If so, that’s the plan. If not, take a rain check. Don’t put aside what you’re doing. A few people will feel a way about this.

Others don’t necessarily understand why it’s so important for you to do what you’re doing now, but you do. You know you’re in the mood now to get it done. Two weeks ago, you said you’d come back to it. You’re late, but now you’re finishing it. Breaking that focus leads into another two weeks of procrastination or the idea failing. Don’t do it, but do communicate.

Communicate to Inform

A person knows as much as you tell them, and communicating your schedule or preoccupations is useful. This does a few things.

Primarily, some people just want to talk or text, and this is fine. It’s also fine if you’re not in the mood or preoccupied. However, you should tell them you’ll get back to them instead of outright snapping or ignoring them. Be kind, but draw boundaries. This applies even for favors.

People can call on you at the most inconvenient times for a favor. Most often, you’re the only person they can ask. This is a heavy emotional weight to carry, with overwhelming responsibilities. If someone really needs you but you’re busy, what do you do?

Depending on what they’re asking, you can offer alternatives. Your mutual cousin might pick them up or housesit for them. Instead of flat out saying no, work through alternative solutions with them. If there are no alternatives, sacrifices have to be made.

When considering inconveniencing yourself for someone else, the most important questions are, how urgent is the request, and who’s asking? You can’t say no if your friend needs to go to the emergency room. You can say no if your cousin needs you to do a favor for his friend. If the request isn’t urgent, informing the requester that you’re busy is best. This doesn’t work all the time, and this is where just doing without explaining comes in.

Just Press Go and Answer Later

When I’m in the process of writing a new book, as I am now, responding to messages becomes nearly impossible. I struggle with this. Should I answer and tell them I can’t talk? Or do I keep going and catch up with them later? More and more, I’ve found the second method works better for me.

When you are right in the middle of finishing a project, you have high-intensity focus. Stopping to take a message is like pulling over for a smoke break during the Indie 500, while you’re in the lead. It kills the momentum. This is an existential threat to creativity, as are the people who bring this energy. They can interrupt your calling.

Some people are more clingy than others, and they regularly overstep the boundaries of communication by over-texting or repeatedly calling. They don’t mean any harm, but this dampers your creative mood and puts you in an uncomfortable place. This is when it’s most effective to focus and circle back to them later.

Those who overstep the boundaries of communication are typically repeat offenders. They are the ones who know your schedule, lifestyle and creative responsibilities. But they also constantly interrupt you as if what you’re doing is inconsequential. You have to disregard their messages because any response will lead to more “But whys?”

That acknowledged, some people assume you owe them answers. They are pushy and will demand one answer after another. Creative process and flow can’t be explained, especially to a person who doesn’t experience it the way you do. You’ll both be confused by the end of the conversation. If you’re in this situation, just do what you do, and don’t worry about texts and DMs. Just do what you’re doing.

The Takeaway

When you have a calling, you feel an urgency to get it done. Doing so requires focus, energy and the space to do it. At the height of your creative output, negative outside forces by way of people might try to interrupt you. Stay focused, but do communicate, even if it’s to say you can’t communicate. When that fails, just go, do what you intend to do. Circle back to that person later if you want. Your time is your most valuable asset. Be stingy with it, and continue building greatness.

FOLLOW the author Jermaine Reed, MFA on X @Jermaine Reed, MFA for his controversial but real hot takes.