“I think I fell in love with a porn star” is a very famous line from “Hell of a Life,” a song by rapper Kanye West who subsequently married Kim Kardashian who is most notably known for her less than flattering appearance alongside R&B star Ray J in a homemade porn film. Critics watching from the side puzzled why a rapper as famous and successful as Kanye would marry a woman who amounted to little more than a reality star. In their minds, Kim was trash and would become nothing more. The media boxed her in and painted her as a loose, careless woman. Not minding the man who appeared in the video with her, the world generally held a negative view of Kim. Now, she’s married — happily or unhappily, depending on who you believe — and doing well as a billionaire. But, what does her success have to do with you? Everything. Whatever station you hold in life, security guard or lawyer, or whatever goals you have from getting married to getting a degree, it’s possible to do better, and this year, you will thrive accomplishing your goals.
You don’t need a New Year’s Resolution
You forgot to make a New Year’s resolution? That’s fine. You don’t need one. If you have made one, quickly throw it away, and forget it. Have you ever followed through on a New Year’s resolution? The answer is, for the most of us, no. The reason resolutions fail is, they are typically things we’ve been putting off, and when we make a quick promise to correct it, we do not make a plan. It’s like walking naked into a bar but promising to get yourself a drink. Short of committing robbery, you don’t have a way to get a beer. Maybe a felony, but not a beer. Don’t let that become you: The naked person in the bar demanding a drink.
The above mentioned, make a solid plan. For instance, your goal is to get married. You must find a spouse first. Before you do that, check your past relationships. Why did they fail? What part did you play in the breakup? What do all of your exes have in common? From there, contrary to dating the most attractive person in the room as usual, you’ll go for the most intelligent. This is a plan. Now, you might find what you’re searching for. Put aside your verbal and mental promises, get the closest pen and piece of paper and write down your goals. Set a reminder in your phone. It’ll help you get to where you want to be.
Every imperfection…is a part of you
Also, change your mindset from “I will” to “I am doing.” Procrastination fuels the defeatist’s mentality. It takes the fight out of you, but you should always be prepared to fight the battles important to you. If you come to a block in the road, don’t turn around. Assess the blockage and find a way around it. Problem-solving is what adults do, and you’re beyond capable. Married people, police officers, doctors, they are all just people like you and I. They are not gods. They did not pass a death trial to get to where they are, and you have the same powerful traits to get you to those places. To get there, class starts now, not “when [you] have time;” the search for a suitable spouse starts when you’re emotionally ready, not when your ex comes back around to offer an insincere apology.
Exam your imperfections. Search your face in the mirror. Note every blemish, every chipped tooth, the dimples or lack thereof, the beauty. Every imperfection and perfection is a part you. Collectively, they make up who you are and how the world perceives you. Embrace yourself, make a plan, write it out and execute it. There’s nothing you can’t do, if you give yourself the chance to do it. Erase your self-doubts. Inhale. Exhale. This year, you will thrive.
*Jermaine Reed, MFA is a writer from Chicago who writes fiction, nonfiction, local news stories and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.