Monday Morning Inspiration Column
You consider yourself to be honest, trustworthy and loyal. Although you trust your best friend and love your family, there is something destroying you from the inside out, a secret yearning to be shared lest it tear you apart. The problem is, your secret can shatter your life and image. Maybe you have a secret OnlyFans page, or you want to share something about your sexuality or maybe you didn’t really ever work at that place you claimed. Whatever it is, you need to release the burden of holding it secret and tell someone you trust or love, but you have to be careful.
Before revealing your secret to anyone, consider how you feel about it. Are you comfortable with sharing this with someone at this point? For instance, if you’ve just accepted a new part of your sexuality, unless you feel comfortable, you don’t immediately need to share this with anyone. They may have questions you haven’t even considered. So, be comfortable with yourself first. If this secret were to leak, how damaging could it be to your image? Can you withstand the fallout. Whenever telling a secret to someone, no matter who the person is or how much you trust that person, you have to realize the potential for leaks is real. Don’t say anything you’re not comfortable with owning up to.
Also, don’t feel guilty about not sharing your secret. Sharing is therapeutic and may assist you in dealing with stress in a positive manner, but you don’t owe anything to anyone. Share for your benefit first and someone else’s last. Unless the secret you’re sharing has something to do with the other person on a vital level, don’t guilt trip yourself for not telling them. They may ask why you didn’t tell them sooner. Just say you brought it up when you were comfortable. A reasonable person will understand.
On the contrary to sharing, you must protect yourself. Let’s say you’re in your last year of law school, and you’re about to graduate and take the bar. To get to this point, you made sacrifices in the form of creating online sexual content through OnlyFans. The fact that you did this could end your legal career before it begins. This secret you’re holding could break your future. In this instance, silence is best. Yes, your best friend has been your best friend forever. But what if she accidentally leaks your secret or you two have a fallout and she tells the world via social media about your content? Your career would be over, and there would be nothing you could do about it. People change, and so do your relationships with them. Be mindful of that when considering sharing a potentially harmful secret about yourself.
You must consider the audience or individual you’re revealing your secret to. If you’ve been a secret Trump supporter voting against Black rights, you may want to avoid spilling that in a community meeting in a Black church. Who you tell your secret to will have different ramifications, if there are any. Telling your best friend you smoke weed will receive a wildly different reception than if you told that same story to your religious granny. There’s a fine line between becoming a sympathetic figure and being the town’s gossip.
If you have to keep the most important aspects of your life completely secret, then what’s the use of loved ones and friends? Sure, there are licensed counselors, and you should seek their professional help when needed. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Still, lean on your friends and family. If the secret may ruin you, consider keeping it to yourself for the protection of your future. Don’t betray yourself or ruin your future. If you have to tell someone something that could end you, tell it to a professional who is legallly required to keep it a secret. Be you, and be proud to be you.
Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college professor and a writer from Chicago who creates fiction, nonfiction, local news stories and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.