Being Rude is Polite: A counterintuitive approach to building personal relationships

Megan thee stallion flips the bird in this picture from http://www.redbubble.com

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college professor and writer from Chicago, who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

“I don’t want homemade fish tonight. I want Chinese takeout.” That statement may seem simple to most, but to some, it’s easier to just eat fish than explain why they don’t want it. Maybe the person cooking the fish under seasons it; or maybe they fry it too hard or too soft. Whatever it is, telling the person their fish is not your favorite meal may seem rude to do. However, it is these uncomfortable truths in personal relationships that strengthen them.

To continue, there are some who absolutely love gore films, while there are others who absolutely hate gore genre. If you are a hater of blood and guts but your significant other isn’t, there may be no grounds to compromise. Or so you assume. Therefore, night after night, you watch gore films with your significant other and pretend to like them. This is unhealthy for many reasons.

…you’ll be disgusted by the touch of [your spouse]

One of the most important aspects of biting your tongue is, suppressing your emotions builds resentment. It makes you disdain the person you’re with. You may begin to see them as selfish, pushy and overbearing. Soon, you’ll be disgusted by the touch of this person.

To avoid this, you must fight, be bold, maybe even rude. Tell your partner how much you dislike whatever the issue is. Explain how it bothers you, and ask that person to stop. Let them know they can watch all the murder they want outside of your time together. If they persist, draw a line and explain the repercussions. Follow through with what you say.

In other instances, being what some would call “rude” can be helpful to a friend. For example, what happens when your friend squeezes into a pair of skinny jeans three sizes too small for him? Do you tell him those are a perfect fit for him and try to boost his self-esteem when his jeans burst at the seams on the club’s dance floor? Or do you say, “Tony, maybe you should pick a different pair of jeans”? What would a real friend do?

Be confident and vocal

Though being polite is expected, being “rude” is sometimes necessary. It may be the difference between your happiness or someone else’s. Being frank might rub some people the wrong way, but those who matter will get it. Be confident and vocal. Never hold your tongue when speaking up can make the difference.

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VLAD TV: The Bane of Black America

In this photo, DJ Vlad throws up “West Coast”, a symbol popular amongst rappers, though he is not a rapper and was born in Kyiv, Ukraine

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college professor and writer from Chicago, who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

On playgrounds across America, before the pandemic, one child with their hands extended would stand between two other kids and say, “If you’re bad, hit my hand.” The purpose of this is to instigate a fight that the two combatants are not that enthused about initiating. Interestingly enough, the instigator usually doesn’t have to worry about being punched in the face. This instigator is like Vlad who uses hip-hop radio and vlogging to single-handedly send more Black men to fight petty wars between each other than white slave holders. It is time to cancel Vlad for good.

Vlad Lyubovny, known professionally as DJ Vlad has made a name for himself instigating rap beef between artists. One would think Vlad would be covering timely issues, but he has managed to keep up conflict that should have evaporated into thin air decades ago.

For instance, Vlad had rapper Young Buck on his show in December 2020. During the interview, Buck mentioned that rapper Juvenile and others from Cash Money Records had left him stranded in California. Recently, Vlad had Juvenile on his show and mentioned Buck’s interview. Juvenile called Buck several derogatory names during the interview with Vlad and this caused a bigger stir between the two rappers.

Detroit rapper Royce Da 5’9 took to Twitter to accuse Vlad of stoking the fire between Buck and Juvenile

In this photo from No Jumper, Detroit rapper Royce Da 5’9 calls out DJ Vlad

While the world was waiting for Young Buck to respond, Detroit rapper Royce Da 5’9 took to Twitter to accuse Vlad of stoking the fire between Buck and Juvenile. Royce went on to say how Vlad is poisoning relationships in hip-hop by using his platform to create tension amongst rappers. This is a true assessment of Vlad, because, other than causing conflict, Vlad’s show has no purpose or substance. It’s trash journalism/vloggism at best, the video equivalent of the National Enquirer tabloid.

Rappers are not forced to appear on Vlad’s show, but that does not mean Vlad has no responsibility

Once upon a time, comedian/entertainer Nick Cannon expressed some stressing sentiments on Vlad’s show. Nick’s contention was that Vlad was corrupting rap music by creating a space where rappers are invited to incite confrontations and incriminate themselves. Vlad’s argument, as his supporters’ is, is that these rappers appear on his show without duress. This does not address Dj Vlad’s instigating.

Rappers are not forced to appear on Vlad’s show, but that does not mean Vlad has no responsibility in the drama he perpetuates. In the law, any person who creates an environment where bad things happen are responsible for that. As an example, if an adult throws a party where there’s underage drinking, the adult is responsible.

Here, Nick Cannon appears in a Howard University sleeveless hoodie

DJ Vlad is a culture vulture who means rappers no good. Due to contracts and wanting to promote their music, rapper sometimes use Vlad’s platform as an outlet. However, he preys on them and coaxes them into violent situations or snitching on themselves. He does not care that things may turn deadly from his instigating.

Moreover, Vlad has no moral compass beyond dollar signs. The more beef he starts, the more clicks he gets. His show is nothing more than a pre-fight club. It is where rappers go to ruin their careers and be made a puppet of for Vlad’s gain. He is untrustworthy, greedy and selfish.

rap music is art

Also, “hate” is a strong word, but does “love” describe what Vlad has for hip-hop culture? Black culture? People will say, “Vlad didn’t force those rappers to say what they said.” Some will go a step further and say, “Rappers talk about killing each, sex drugs and money all the time. How is what Vlad doing any different?”

To begin with, rap music is art. As white multi-platinum rapper Eminem who threatened to kill then-Vice President Mike Pence on record said, “A lot of people think that what I say on record…I actually believe. Well, if you believe that, I’ll kill you.”

Former Rap Group NWA, known for their hit “F*ck the Police”, pose for the camera

When white kids draw guns or white men paint a nude woman or a white female makes a sex toy, it’s considered art. It should be marveled at; it should not be picked apart, America says. And if a white rapper threatens to “kill” the Vice President, it’s art but not a threat.

it is time to cancel Vlad and the bloodsucking, culture vulture part of America he so adequately represents

However, Black people’s art has rarely been appreciated by America; it has never been understood. It is why the 1619 Project by Pulitzer Prize-winner Nikole Hannah-Jones caused such a stir and Black rappers who have not threatened the lives of sitting authorities are portrayed as a threat. Hip-hop is rooted in storytelling, grand pseudo-luxury realities and pessimistic hope. It is about struggle and overcoming it, about being someone other than who the rapper truly is. Rap is an expression of everything good and bad the rapper has experienced. Hip-hop/rap is art.

Black America was told not to run numbers, not to smoke cannabis, not to use “Ebonics”, correctly known as African American Vernacular English. Then, white America became rich off the lottery, rich off African American Vernacular English by using it in their promotions and became legal billionaires with the same marijuana that sent Black men to jail for decades. Vlad is an embodiment of the leech America has always been on the groin of Black America, and it is time to cancel him and the bloodsucking, culture vulture part of America he so adequately represents.

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Shameless: A Liam Gallagher Story

Liam Gallagher of Shameless

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college professor and writer from Chicago, who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

SPOILER ALERT. If you have not seen all of Shameless and don’t want to ruin your experience, read this after you have seen it all.

Towards the end of the final episode of Shameless, Liam Gallagher, played by Christian Isaiah (11), finds himself at Veronica and Kev’s bar. As everyone pours out of the tavern, Liam is left standing alone, eyes scanning the empty space. He is looking for Frank, who is nowhere in sight. Mouth drawn downward, Liam closes the door of the bar and catches up with his siblings and the others to have a spontaneous celebration of sorts. The viewer can’t help but feel a pang of hurt for Liam who does not know yet that Frank has passed. If the last two seasons do nothing else, they bring to light the feelings of loneliness and displacement Liam feels as the only Black person in an Irish-American family.

Liam’s existence in Shameless is a perplexity, since he is Black but both his parents are white. It is well-known that Monica, Frank’s late ex-wife and Liam’s mother, was a drug addict just like Frank. Throughout the show, on various occasions, Frank explains Liam’s racial identity as being the result of a rare biological occurrence in which a Black child is born to white parents. In reality, it is more likely that Liam is the result of his mother’s drug-tainted lifestyle. It is not uncommon for addicts to sell themselves for drugs. This indicates that had the show continued, Liam would have deduced this and decided Frank Gallagher was not his real father. But what is the significance of this loosely veiled hiccup in Liam’s sad story?

Liam finds out that maybe being Black is something far harder than he had predicted

Though Liam lives around Black people, he is rarely shown interacting with them in earlier seasons. In the later seasons, he develops a yearning to know himself in relation to Black America. This self-searching leads to several hilarious endeavors where Liam finds out that maybe being Black is harder to learn than he had predicted. But he also seeks friendships with other Black boys. However, these relationships are shallow and brief. In most cases, the soft-spoken Liam is nothing more than a push-over for his Black friends. In the end, he does not connect well with Black people, beyond surface-level interactions.

Because of this, Liam becomes a wanderer in the last season. When he hears about the house being sold, he prepares for homelessness. Periodically, he spends time outside trying to see what it would be like to be homeless. Though he has brothers and sisters, Liam has come to understand that his family is broken. It is every person for himself or herself. His natural reaction is to try and save himself.

In this photo, Liam Gallagher stands behind his family

Even with all of this happening in his life, Liam manages to be there for Frank when Frank’s alcoholic dementia renders him nothing more than a confused old man. Together, throughout the final season, Liam builds a closer bond with Frank. He writes notes on Frank’s arms to remind Frank of who he is. When Frank is at his worst, Liam uses this to his advantage to spend time with the man who has always managed to be around Liam but never a part of his life.

During these moments with Frank, the viewer sees the hope Liam has for his and Frank’s relationship. Liam knows there is something there, but he also knows Frank does not have a lot of time. This is obvious when Frank forgets mid-sentence the subject of their conversations on multiple occasions.

In this photo, Liam absorbs bad advice from his father Frank

At one point, Frank runs Liam off, who leaves Frank reluctantly. Frank ends up in a hospital where he finally succumbs to a life shredded by alcohol and drug abuse. There is no one there to share Frank’s last moments. He leaves as alone as he lived his life. The word “alone” is more appropriate since Frank did not necessarily lead a lonely life. He dealt with people on his own time.

In death, Frank does more good for Liam than he could ever have alive

But what does Frank’s tragic end mean for Liam? Though Liam loved Frank, there was nothing Frank could do for him. Frank was a man who could not see beyond his own selfish addictions. His influence over Liam would have ruined Liam. In death, Frank does more good for Liam than he could ever have alive.

As for Liam’s place in the world, though Debbie, Lip and some of the others may be half-siblings with him, they are not his people. They can not feel what he feels as a Black child in a white family. Liam is intelligent and will leave the Gallaghers. Where he will end up, only a spin-off may know.

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Satisfying Your Sex Partner

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college professor and writer from Chicago, who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

In the realm of the bedroom, depending on parties involved, anything can — or can not — happen. The possibilities depends on both partners’ understanding of satisfaction and what this means. Some think satisfaction is the sweaty, breathtaking climax. In reality, satisfaction is about the ride to that climax.

You’ve been told you’re boring in bed. The other person has told you, “We should try something new. Let’s do something extreme.” In response, you secretly bought what you thought was sexy lingerie to show off your amazing breasts or giant bulge. Your partner was under enthused and your ego was deflated. What did you do wrong?

Your partner asked for a specific thing, but you did not [give them that]

To begin with, you’re attractive. Your partner knows you’re attractive. When your partner said, “Let’s do something different, something extreme”, what they meant was, something extremely different. Lingerie is different, but chances are you already have sexy boxers or bras gathering dust in the closet. Your partner asked for a specific thing, but you did not deliver. You gave them what you wanted to give them instead of what they asked for. You have left them dissatisfied.

Moreover, sex can become so routine as to be like a career your partner hates punching in for. Make sex random and spontaneous. Think about where you have not had sex and go there. Do it anywhere you legally and safely can. Make it risky and risqué.

Also, teamwork makes the dream work. If your partner wants to go somewhere sexually that you have not been, listen and consider. If your partner brings something up, respond with how you all can make this happen; do not respond with “why nots”. If you do, you come off as not wanting to. If you do not want to, say that upfront. Your partner will respect your honesty more than a thinly veiled excuse to hide your true apprehensions.

If you want to keep your partner, know your “kink level”. In other words, know how far you are willing to go and make it clear. For your partner and yourself, knowing ahead your sexual comfortability level can save many awkward conversations. What people like in the bedroom varies drastically overtime, especially if you two have been together for some time. Monotony in the bedroom is a real risk.

maybe [your sex] is not enough for your partner

Altogether, leave knowing this: if your partner says she wants to go out on more dates, renting a movie from Prime Video does not count as “going out”. When your partner speaks, listen and give them what they ask for. Though you may end the night with a breathtaking orgasm with your partner the way you like to, maybe this is not enough for your partner. You’ll say, “But they orgasmed.” They could have faked or felt as though the climax should have and could have been better. Sometimes doing your best means doing a little bit more, especially when your partner satisfies you.

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Saying “No” to Family and Friends: Financial Stability

In the above photo from WordPress, two friends disagree over a loan

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college professor and writer from Chicago, who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

After all the crushing student loan debt, coffee laden nights into the wee hours of the morning, studying until you nod into a stained book, you have landed a career. You are worn, beaten but semi-optimistic, even if you are not confident in your abilities. However, on the outside, all your family and friends see is the one who made it. Or they view you as “the one who has it all together”. All they see is the degrees and career. They assume you have money now, so much of it that you should loan it to them. Or give it to them. Just say “no” to loaning money to family and friends to save your relationships.

…they get money [from you] and they won’t…pay it back.

Saying no to a family member or friend’s financial requests may be uncomfortable, but it will save your relationship. Say for instance that when you call to collect your money, that family member or friend does not answer. Hours turn into days and then weeks. Still nothing. You will be upset and feel betrayed. The other person may argue that you are overreacting and that the money is no big deal. They will make you feel bad for requesting your funds back. Undoubtedly, this will alter your relationship with this person forever in a bad way. So, how do you say no?

Chances are, the person who wants to borrow money from you has already burned you in the past. Since then, the amount of money they want to borrow has increased. You know why? They have already burned you in the past, and that was a test. You did nothing significant when they didn’t pay you in the past. They also know you’re good for the money. It’s a win-win for them.

In this photo, gold and silver Bitcoin shine among fresh $100 bills.

The above noted, if a person wants to borrow money from you but did not repay a past loan, just say no in one of these ways:

1. I understand your need, and I wish I could help you, but you did not repay me last time. (If this is too much for you, use the next one)

2. I don’t have it right now. (If this is a lie and you don’t like to lie, use the next one)

3. I understand your need, but you didn’t pay me back last time. In order for me to loan you anything else, you must first repay the last loan in full. I know if you had the money now to pay me, you wouldn’t be asking, but I need my money upon the conditions we agreed because I have my own expenses.

You do not owe anybody anything

Still, you feel a little guilty every time you say no, but why? By nature, you’re a giving person, and if you have it to give, why not? Well, a loan is not a gift. If you want to give all your money away, go ahead by any means. But what will you get in return? Most likely cold shoulders and indifference, other than maybe one or two people who are likely your parents or longtime friend.

You do not owe anybody anything. Each time you punch a clock, wake up earlier than you want to, make it to work on time or pay your bills, it is because of the hard work you put in. That time sheet doesn’t have your begging friend’s name or your greedy brother’s. It is yours. You worked for it.

In the above photo, a hard working man struggles while studying

Moreover, you have to be a little selfish in life. That doesn’t mean stop donating to your favorite charity or not to give spare change to homeless individuals. It means that you must make the right decision for yourself not to harm yourself. For instance, you loan your best friend money on the promise that person will repay you next week on a certain day. You need this money for your phone bill.

However, on the day your friend is supposed to pay you back, they ghost you and your phone gets disconnected. “My check didn’t come”, “My account was overdrawn so the money was taken when it was deposited” or other excuses are what your friend will use. At the end of the day, you put yourself in a bad situation. Now, you may have to borrow some money or have your phone embarrassingly disconnected until you can pay.

Are you fine? When was the last time someone other than your parents asked?

All of that said, self-care is important. Are you OK? Are you fine? When was the last time someone other than your parents asked? You have worked hard to earn your way. You don’t owe anything to anyone, except yourself. Never lend what you can not afford to lose.

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JUST IN 04/20/2021 Case Closed: Derek Chauvin Verdict GUILTY!

Derek Chauvin. Photo by http://www.theguardian.com

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college English professor and writer from Chicago who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

Update: Dereck Chauvin sentenced to 22.5 years for the “egregious” murder of unarmed Black man George Flyod. Follow this link for more information regarding sentencing: Dereck Chauvin

As the Derek Chauvin case draws closer to an end and the defense resting after Chauvin chose not to testify, one thing has become clear: Chauvin, the former officer on trial for the unlawful murder of unarmed Black man George Floyd, will be found guilty of some form of murder. The real question that remains is, how much time will Chauvin receive?

What we need is more than a guilty verdict

For far too long, police trials for unlawful murdering of unarmed Black men have been purely procedural, a required show for the public in which the officer is let off. Now, with more pressure associated with Black Lives Matters protests, the trials have yielded some small resemblance of justice. Officers like Amber Guyger are being found guilty of killing innocent Black men but are being given comically light sentences and hugs from the judge. What we need is more than a guilty verdict; what we need is life sentences and corporal punishment for officers who willfully take an innocent life in the line of duty.

Photo by http://www.nbcnews.com
Prosecutor issues closing arguments in George Floyd case 04/19/2021. Video from ABC News.

Though the criminal justice system has been heavy-handed in sentencing Black men, it has been lax in punishing bad law enforcement. In many cases, as a factor to mitigate sentencing, judges note the accused officer’s work as an officer; this is paradoxical. Shouldn’t an officer who breaks his or her oath be punished more harshly because that person was an officer of the law and broke his or her oath to protect?

Any officer who executes another human being is…dangerous

Moreover, in a case where an officer unlawfully takes an innocent life in the line of duty, the death penalty should be considered. An officer who slays in the line of duty is a menace to society. That officer has demonstrated a willingness to kill, sometimes for racially motivated reasons. Any officer who executes another human being is more dangerous than the innocent person that officer murders.

Photo by newyorker.com

So, what does this mean for Derrick Chauvin? This former officer intentionally kneeled on an unresisting man’s throat until that man died. This act took nearly ten minutes. If Chauvin did not mean to kill Floyd, he did not care if he did. This is called having a reckless disregard for human life. This is equal to premeditated murder in the eyes of the law and punished as such; killing someone with reckless disregard for life is literally first-degree murder. Chauvin deserves life in prison, since this is what he did.

Black people have heard every excuse as to why justice doesn’t serve their side of town.

In closing, Chauvin is on his way to a guilty verdict; he has no defense. Though his lawyer claims Floyd died of a drug overdose and heart problems, every single medical examiner and pathologist that testified said Chauvin murdered Floyd. How much time Chauvin will get depends on the Court. Black people have heard every excuse as to why justice doesn’t serve their side of town. Chauvin should not see the light of day again.

Change is coming, and Black Lives Matter.

UPDATE: As of 04/20/2021, Derek Chauvin has been found guilty of all charges.

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Get a Career Today by Building a Ten-Minute Resumé with Keywords

In this photo from http://www.theguardian.com, an entrepreneur considers applicants.

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college English professor and writer from Chicago who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

These days, getting a good job or career is similar to publishing online content: you have to have good keywords to attract traffic. In layman’s terms, keywords are simply important words or phrases used to attract your audience which, in this case, is employers. After landing plenty of interviews from simple delivery jobs to professor positions, I’ve been able to use keywords to make my resumé standout, regardless of how bland or tacky it looked. Today, I will explain to you how to make sure your resumé almost certainly gets you the interview and career you want.

Find the skills or qualifications section on [a live] application [or job posting] and copy and paste them into a resumé template.

To begin with, first search the position you’re looking for and find a real job listing. So, for instance, if you’re looking for a tutoring position, find a listing on a site like http://www.varsitytutors.com and locate a tutor position listing. Find the skills or qualifications section on that listing and copy and paste them into your resumé or template.

Now, you’re wondering what template to use. As long as you stick to the following rules, your template is not very important. Employers recommend using a basic format of 12. Times New Roman black font. It is clear and easy to read. Of course, you may be tempted to use glamorous cursive font to make your resumé standout; don’t. What makes your resumé standout is the words on the page not the decoration of the words on the page. Use a basic template, and make it easy for the employer to read.

In this photo by http://www.wordpress.com, a job seeker looks over her resumé.

Moreover, shorten up your resumé. Some say your resumé shouldn’t be more than two pages, three at the most. On the contrary, one page is enough. Say more with less. The shorter, the better. We live in a fast-moving society, COVID-19 aside. No employer has time to flip through a three-page resumé. Have you ever listened to someone tell you a story for an hour that should have taken less than five? You’d want that person to hurry up and get to the point. That’s the same thing with resumés. I’ve kept my resumés one page, and it has worked out well landing me interviews.

Also, those employers evaluating your resumé are likely millennials. Those in leadership positions continue to be younger and younger. These younger leaders are social media frequenters who have the attention span of a distracted toddler. They do not want to read a three-page resumé. So, do not insist on putting your whole life on a resumé.

If you want to be a mail carrier or work in IT, your experience mopping as a janitor is not relevant.

To continue, you’re probably saying, “I have many years of experience. How can I make it all one page? What do I include in my work experience?” There are two ways to handle this issue. In the “experience” section, you can either list the last three employers you have had or your last ten years of experience. Include only work relevant to the current position. If you want to be a mail carrier or work in IT, your experience mopping as a janitor is not relevant. You may use whatever experience you have in any field, but the more relevant the experience, the more likely it is to get your resumé acknowledged. For the work experience area, I usually put three past work experiences and include three one-sentence descriptions of the duties I performed. If you are currently employed at a job listed on your resumé, describe your duties in present-tense; use past-tense if you are no longer employed by an employer listed on your resumé.

In this photo from http://www.wordpress.com, an insightful professor fills his students in on what is expected in the job market.

As for the skills or qualifications section, this is where your previous search of a live position within your field comes in. Your skills/qualifications descriptions are usually one or two words such as “management” or “computer savvy” and these can be found in active job listings. The reason to do a search on a live job listing is because many applications are run through algorithms before they even reach the eyes of a real person. An algorithm is software used by employers to calculate how well an applicant’s resumé matches their job listing. Adding keywords from one active application will almost guarantee you an interview. Additionally, choosing one good application to pull keywords or phrases from will help your overall job search if you use that same resumé to apply to similar positions.

In this partial resumé screenshot, the applicant’s qualifications are listed in no more than three keywords copied and pasted from an active job listing

Moving on, as far as the “objective” section on your resumé, keep it at one simple line. The urge here sometimes is to write a paragraph about how great you want to make the employer, and this is not a great approach. The “objective” section should read this way: “To obtain a (whatever position you want) and help the company grow (in a specific way such as customer acquisition, gaining new accounts, retaining customers through good customer service or in any specific way).” Keep it simple and specific.

On another note, you don’t want too much negative space on the page. A sheet of paper with scarce information is a turnoff to employers. It tells them you’re a bland person and have no experience. Even this is true, you don’t want to reflect that on your resumé. If you’re short on experience, use volunteer experience. You don’t have any? Well, add in awards, hobbies or more skills. Do anything to make your resumé appear full enough to eliminate too much negative space.

In this post from Instagram, successful businesswoman Rosetta Thurman enjoys a gentle squeeze from her hubby.

In closing, using the methods above, I’ve become a college professor. You can do the same with the right resumé. Getting an interview is about having a good resumé with the right words. Search keywords or phrases by finding live job posting and copying the listed “skills” or “qualifications” onto your own resumé so that the employer’s algorithm selects your resumé. Keep the entire resumé at no more than one page. Cut what you must. Following these instructions, you will have a job interview within days of building your ten-minute resumé.

For the follow-up articles showing how to create a cover letter and what to do once you get an interview, subscribe by clicking here.

Book of Rhymes: How to Beat Internet Bullies and Trolls

In this photo from HelpGuide.com, a troubled girl reacts to a rude text message while also being isolated from the others.

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college English professor and writer from Chicago who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

In the last bars of Eminem’s song “Book of Rhymes,” Eminem declares, “Note to self: ‘Sometimes you’re gonna bomb, so you just might have to pull yourself up with no one’s help.’” To his listeners, he then says, “I just wrote this down in my Book of Rhymes.” This inspirational line is delivered by an unlikely source in a song where he decries having to “wrestle with this iPad…unsuccessfully” as he responds in knee jerk fashion to online criticism, the same criticism people like you face every day. There are ways to beat internet bullies and trolls, and those methods are scarcely but powerfully dropped jewels in Eminem’s song “Book of Rhymes.”

Bullies thrive off of controlling your emotions.

To continue, in the very first lines of the song, Eminem says, “I don’t frown; I don’t smile; get too up or get too down.” What he is expressing here is nearly absolute control of his feelings. To say he doesn’t smile is an exaggeration meant to show that he does not allow others to control his happiness. This is something you must embrace. Bullies thrive off controlling your emotions. They will intentionally trick you into laughing just to make you the butt of the joke. Point is, be less open to allowing others to emotionally manipulate you, no matter how much you miss him when he isn’t cheating or how happy she makes you when she isn’t lying.

In this Dreamstime.com pic, a woman shields her eyes from mean social media messages.

Moreover, day in and out, you scroll Facebook and see an old high school buddy has graduated college or landed a big career. Or that gossiper Keisha got married, and the bling of her ring on Instagram nearly blinds you. You sigh. You’re nobody, and the internet perpetually reminds you of that. As Eminem puts it, “I can not have [any] success!” But you’re wrong, and even Em admits that he is incorrect in “Book of Rhymes.”

You have to know who the haters are in your life.

As we have seen, in a game thick in deception and flooded with struggling artists, an emcee as unlikely as Eminem made it. None of his foes thought he would, and just few of his friends stood by. By the time he finally solidified his name in the rap industry, Eminem had come to learn his trolls and bullies were no more than “haters.” You have to know who the haters are in your life. Their job is to put doubt in your head about your potential and to douse the flame of any spark of a good idea you may have. Without identifying and cutting these people off, you run the risk of letting them silently but purposefully murder your dreams.

And just exactly how do you beat internet bullies? Other than what is already mentioned, realize that bullies do not own you. Most of the time, they are weird ignorant people who hide behind keyboards and VPNs. Even if you know the bully personally, you still should not let what they think dictate how you maneuver through your life. Put you first, because nobody else will, especially not a troll. Turn off the computer, and do you. No pity parties. As Eminem puts it, “Sometimes you’re gonna bomb, so you just might have to pull yourself up with no one’s help.”

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Only Desperate Women Propose to Men

Here, a woman happily kneels while proposing to her husband-to-be. Photo from Buzz-Caribbean.com

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college English professor and writer from Chicago who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

Recently, a new trend began sweeping the nation in which women are proposing to men. Considering that, up until recently, men proposed in nearly all previous marriages and they ended in divorce about 50 percent of the time. That means men get it wrong once out of every two times. Yet this fails to convince some that women-made proposals are probably better for everyone. Maybe women choose better. The internet has memed and mocked the crumbly outcome of proposals by “good men” like Derrick Jaxn who are narcissistic liars out to womanize. Considering that, there are plenty of reasons women should propose to men, some contend.

Why is a woman’s going after what she wants such an issue?

To begin, women who propose to men are not desperate by default. Plus, there are likely more desperate men popping the question than women, since women don’t do it often. A popular saying is, “A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.” If the notion of a woman going after what she wants is an issue, why? If the argument is soley, “She’s a woman, and women don’t propose,” whether you’re male or female, you may be a tad sexiest. Applying sets of rules based on gender is sexist on its face.

In this photo by WordPress, a couple happily links pinky fingers while walking along some train tracks

Also, some contend a woman who proposes to a man is loved less by that man than she does him. In relationships, love is measured in different ways. Does the wife-beating judge who proposes deserve a seat at the table of love over the man who actually loves his wife who proposed to him? That’s a conundrum. People weigh love differently. They express it differently. How they express that love should not be determined by gender, not in a progressive society deviating from assigned gender roles and oppressive patriarchy.

When you propose to your man and he says yes, he’s yours forever, through it all. He is pledging his love and loyalty to you. And think about it. Women who refuse to pop the question usually end up with the same man who didn’t ask for her hand or in multiple fruitless relationships. Would you rather be the stubborn one who refuses to ask a man to be yours and potentially be permanently single or put your pride aside and make your own dreams come true?

…you can not always pick up and leave…but you can proactively choose who you date or marry…

Proposing to your man gives you control. Why be a damsel in distress waiting for a man who may never arrive? Currently, society says pick from what you are offered. What if all the offerings are subpar? Those who live within the same demographic many times share the same values; so dating man person from a particular area could be the equivalent of dating them all; that is, there is no variety in their personalities.

In this photo by WordPress, husband and wife share a kiss while surrounded by the calming embrace of nature.

That said, women can not always choose where and when they date. The world is bound by social constructs such as employment, raising children or functioning. Though women may not be able to just pick up and go to a new area for better pickings, they can proactively choose who they date or marry. They have been picking from the bad offerings for awhile and it has gotten them nowhere with certain men. What’s wrong with changing things up a bit and popping the question? What’s wrong with a woman saying to a man, “Would you like to go out for coffee?” or “I love you so much. Will you marry me?”

The world respects women who know what they want and how to get it.

As far as the haters, — there will be plenty — you don’t owe them an explanation. The haters judging you probably can’t even get a goodbye kiss from their “man.” You don’t have to be that woman, and you shouldn’t let what others say about you hurt you. With the haters will also come a lot of love. The world respects women who know what they want and how to get it. The love outweighs the hate. So, get the ring and claim your man.

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Succeeding in Relationships by Burning Off Emotional Leeches

Photo by WordPress

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college English professor and writer from Chicago who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

If you have been keeping up with the Derrick Jaxn fiasco, you witnessed him sit beside his wife in a cringy live Instagram post where he readily admits to cheating on his wife. His wife sits beside him on the couch in a black bonnet or skullcap, sad-looking and defeated. Derrick Jaxn, the self-proclaimed relationship guru, is nothing more than an emotional leech who has emotionally drained his wife. His wife probably is thinking, I gave him my all being loyal and faithful, yet he still cheated. Why? His wife represents a multitude of people betrayed by friends and family they have saved from evictions, unemployment, bad relationships and much more, so many can relate. What those who have been betrayed do not realize is, they are too good for some whom they let into their lives, and now it is time to let those emotional leeches go.

In this post, a Facebook user unfairly blames Derrick Jaxn’s wife’s looks as the reason for Derrick’s cheating. In this photo, Derrick Jaxn sits beside his wife while explaining his infidelity with the Instagram model to the right.

Here you are again, grace under pressure, listening to your friend bawl her eyes out about a guy you TOLD her was poison; or your best friend needs another ride to work, even after you advised him betting his last at the dice game was not a particularly great idea. No matter how irritating or needy they are, you’re there for your friend. Yet in your greatest need, they are unreachable, literally and emotionally. They have no time or empathy for you. These people are emotional leeches — parasites — and it’s time you burn them off, figuratively speaking.

…what’s more important: your success or [other people’s] drama?

You know what pain and failure feel like, but you listen to everyone else’s problems without fully resolving your own. Right now, you have a deadline to meet, a child to pick up drop off, an assignment to complete or other work. You’re stressed, overworked and underpaid. You can rise above this, but you must first silence your phone. Yes, your mother wants to talk your ears off about the new puppy she equally loves and hates; your friend needs relationship advice; your other friend needs someone to talk to. You need to do you, so what’s more important: your success or their drama?

To those whom you can not call on in your time of need, those emotional leeches, burn them off. Talking with, not to, others about your issues and empathizing with and listening to theirs, can be therapeutic. However, not having that person actually hear you out and empathize with you can be overbearing. Emotionally, it will drain you. Unintentionally, you become their emotional landfill l, a dumping site. You inherit their problems, compounding your own. This may lead to depression. This person is not your friend or loved one.

[Everyone] can not be helped

Furthermore, how do you confront an emotional leech? First, you must talk to this person alone. Start with a preamble expressing how serious you are about what you’re about to say. Tell that person you are not looking for an excuse or defense but understanding. Make sure they understand this. Then, tell them what the issue is. Maybe they don’t answer when you call. Sometimes, they may flake out on you at the last minute. Or they just don’t listen to your issues. Whatever it is, express that. Still, what if they don’t hear you out?

If the person you’re trying to reason with can not understand why you’re bringing up the issue of them not spending enough time with you or their inability to empathize with you, you must leave this person behind. Imagine showing up to have a conversation, but instead of getting the tall, lanky person you expected, you encounter a brick wall. That is what it is like trying to reason with someone on the defensive. They are their to argue, not reason. For every real concern you have, they have an equal, brutal gaslight or lie armed and ready to fire. Everything no matter how small or how large, is an attack to an emotional leech. They can not be helped.

These types of people will never admit they’re lying.

Moreover, emotional leeches are crafty with excuses, gaslights and lies, so yo must use logic when choosing to burn them off like unwanted fat. For example, you’ve tried calling Shelly six times, but she has not answered or returned your phone calls. Her Facebook Messenger shows she’s been recently active. You confront her about this when you finally she her, but she says her phone was dead, but you know she always keeps her charger, and she has never let her phone go dead as long as you’ve known her. You bring up Messenger, but she says Messenger is wrong. Add up the evidence: do you believe her or the accurate Messenger timestamp? These types of people will never admit they are lying or wrong. You must end it with them, no matter whom they are or how long you’ve know them.

In this GIF, a man and woman smile together joyfully, while wrapped in the simplicity of true love.

That said, it is perfectly fine to be that shoulder to lean on in a rough time. There is nothing wrong with relating with others, taking in their issues and helping them overcome those issues. However, you must be mindful of your own physical and mental health. You also need someone to talk to and be understood by. You are not a mindless drone or disposable sponge meant for soaking up the filth of ungrateful people who can not even return a phone call. Put yourself first and take care of yourself while limiting the number of people whom you choose to be there for, because they may not be there when you need them.

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